When I first left Wendell (the best place on earth to be a school counselor), my future plans were not a big priority. I wasn't giving much thought to the next thing - partly because I was still trying to recover from the last thing, partly because I was trying to focus on getting healthy.
I'm not sure how long that lasted, but eventually I started considering the next step. I started asking questions, the kind that no one but me can answer.
"If you're not a school counselor, who are you?"
"What are you going to do now?"
"I have a masters in school counseling, but I can't work in a school. Where does that leave me?"
At this point it seems all I'm thinking about is what I'm supposed to be doing. Well, not "24 hours a day" all, just "sometimes when I'm feeling useless" all. I've considered getting a part time job, doing something like working for a courier service, or at-home data entry ... I don't know.
I have been teaching some classes for NNU's graduate counseling program, as an adjunct professor, and I've been enjoying it. From the feedback I've gotten, both from students and faculty, I seem to be doing a good job. So then I wonder, is it time to start pursuing a doctorate? Not long after I graduated some of the faculty asked me, "When will you start working on your doctorate so you can join the faculty here?" I dismissed it at the time; I didn't want to be a university professor - I wanted to be a school counselor, working with kids.
But now, because working with kids doesn't appear to be an option, becoming a counselor educator may be the way I can still be part of that particular educational solution. So I've started looking at online doctoral programs. WOW they're expensive. The ones I've looked at range from $50,000 to $80,000. I filled out a FAFSA and discovered I could probably qualify for $20,000 in student loans (adding to my current student loan debt of $40,000). But that still leaves a huge gap in funding. How am I supposed to come up with an extra $50,000+/-, especially considering I'm unemployed.
I suppose if I finish my book and sell a million copies, the money will become a non-issue. But if that happens I'll be so famous I won't have time for a doctorate.
God will have to open doors, and then some more doors, and once I'm through those, still more doors. A doctorate is completely out of the realm of possibilities, which means if it happens, it will be because God has directed my path. It will be exciting to find out what happens, but sometimes I wish there was more certainly in my life. Everything seems so vague and uncertain.